


Brave

by autisticaizawashouta



Series: Gender is Hard 'verse [5]
Category: Sanders Sides, Thomas Sanders
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Past Abuse, Past Domestic Violence, everyone is non-binary, how many more happy things should i write before it gets angsty up in here hmmm, non-binary characters, what is a binary gender? we know not what that is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-22 21:17:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13772730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/autisticaizawashouta/pseuds/autisticaizawashouta
Summary: Virgil has a history of silence. They break it.





	Brave

Virgil was sprawled out on the couch in the apartment they shared with Patton. They were leaned up against the armrest, laptop in lap, and headphones on. Their handmade hoodie was on, and a blanket was wrapped haphazardly around their legs.

Occasionally they’d type something, and then go back and delete it. Groans built up in their chest, but for the most part, they bit them back. Just because they were having a tiny, miniscule amount of difficulty with the particular post they were writing…

Okay, that was a lie, they were having quite a bit of difficulty with that post.

It was, in a way, to be expected. It would be an incredibly personal post, about a topic they had touched on a little bit in their books but not much in their blog posts. And, surprise surprise, the person with an anxiety disorder was feeling anxious about posting something that personal.

They remembered Patton’s words from that morning: they could go at their own pace. They didn’t have to rush this.

Except… They felt like they were ready. It was something they wanted to speak up about, desperately. Maybe their words could help someone who was in a situation like they had been.

Unable to get anywhere on the post they were writing, they threw back their head and groaned. Maybe talking with the others would help a bit…

A couple clicks, and they had the Discord window open and were typing into the server that Patton had created for the two of them, and Roman and Logan. The four of them were pretty much a Tumblr clique, even though Virgil was  _ still _ working up the courage to tell Logan and Roman their name. Like, seriously, what the hell was up with that? Why were they so willing to share very painful, personal parts of their past but not something as simple as their  _ name _ ?

Virgil was being too hard on themself, again. At least they could recognize when they were now, wasn’t that progress?

Discord was open, so they sent a message.

**_Extra Emo Enby:_ ** _ yo anyone on _

**_Glasses Gay Young:_ ** _ Obviously _

**_Extra Emo Enby:_ ** _ you still have “do not disturb” on how was i supposed to know _

**_Glasses Gay Young:_ ** _ I suppose you weren’t. What do you need? _

**_Extra Emo Enby:_ ** _ normally i bother patton when i need that Validation _ _ tm _ _ , except patton’s not around right now so you think you could handle it? _

**_Glass Gay Old:_ ** _ You don’t bother me! _

**_Extra Emo Enby:_ ** _ you’re supposed to be at work _

**_Glasses Gay Young:_ ** _ He is summoned when you’re self-deprecating. I am reliably informed that it’s his superpower. _

**_Extra Emo Enby:_ ** _ lol true. anyways i’m trying to write this post and i’m having some difficulties with it _

**_Glasses Gay Old:_ ** _ What did i tell you! _

_ Take! _

_ Your! _

_ Time! _

**_Extra Emo Enby:_ ** _ patton _

_ i am _

_ it’s called writer’s block _

**_Glasses Gay Young:_ ** _ I don’t believe that is what he means. _

**_Glasses Gay Old:_ ** _ Logan’s write! If you’re not ready to share this than you shouldn’t push yourself! _

**_Extra Emo Enby:_ ** _ first off, great pun, i love it. second, i think i am ready i’m just having issues _

They’re just having issues? When don’t they have issues?

**_Glasses Gay Young:_ ** _ If I may ask, what are you writing about? _

Oh boy. How would they answer that one? They were telling the rest of the world, anyway, but it felt different to write a post they’d put on tumblr that anyone could read, versus telling everyone in the private group chat about it. They cared about Logan and Roman, a lot. If this changed the way they thought of them…

**_Extra Prince Enby:_ ** _ I must admit, I am also quite intrigued! _

Oh, yep, Roman was online now. At least they could all read and react to it at the same time. That would be less time spent in limbo, wondering what they were thinking.

**_Extra Prince Enby:_ ** _ Anx? You still there? _

**_Extra Emo Enby:_ ** _ yeah uh _

_ just... thinking _

**_Extra Prince Enby:_ ** _ Take your time! We’ll wait! _

Virgil took a deep breath. Okay, well, it was the moment of truth, then.

**_Extra Emo Enby:_ ** _ i’m… not sure how much you know about my past in general _

**_Glasses Gay Young:_ ** _ Next to nothing. Continue _

**_Extra Emo Enby:_ ** _...thanks, logan. but, uhhhh, i don’t exactly have the greatest past _

_ what i mean is _

_ well  _

**_Glasses Gay Young:_ ** _ If you don’t think you’re ready to share with us yet, you don’t have to _

**_Extra Emo Enby:_ ** _ well thing is since i’m writing this post about it i should be able to share it with you guys first _

_ it shouldn’t be this big of a deal _

Virgil was just… making a big deal of nothing, weren’t they? They’ve written about characters who were abused before, it shouldn’t be this much harder to talk about that abuse in the context of it happening to, well, you.

**_Glasses Gay Old:_ ** _ It is a pretty big deal tho, sweetheart. My break’s finishing up but i’ll be cheering you on as much as i can! _

**_Extra Emo Enby:_ ** _ you teach elementary school. you have zero free time _

**_Glasses Gay Old:_ ** _ That is true. But I love the kiddos! _

**_Extra Emo Enby:_ ** _ you do. a lot. _

_ anyways _

_ so my past isn’t very great _

_ and i’m writing this post because maybe, i dunno, it might help someone else who’s in a situation like _

_ like i was in _

**_Extra Prince Enby:_ ** _ That’s very noble of you. _

**_Extra Emo Enby:_ ** _ thanks _

Virgil’s hands shook as they thought about the words they were going to type. They were finally telling someone other than Patton and their therapist about… about him.

**_Extra Emo Enby:_ ** _ my ex-boyfriend _

Okay, that was two words. The rest of them couldn’t be much harder than that.

**_Extra Emo Enby:_ ** _ he was _

_ he abused me _

There, they said it, it was like a band-aid, you just gotta rip it off.

**_Extra Prince Enby:_ ** _ oh my god _

_ Anx _

_ I’m _

_ Where does he live I am going to fight him _

_ I am going to take his entire face off with a samurai sword _

**_Glasses Gay Young:_ ** _ ROMAN _

_...I’m not quite sure what the appropriate response is in this situation but getting yourself arrested is most definitely not the answer _

_ I am sorry he put you through that, Anxiety _

Like a band-aid… you gotta rip it off.

**_Glasses Gay Young:_ ** _ I suppose that might be an inspiration for Nyssa’s backstory? _

**_Extra Emo Enby:_ ** _ yeah. it was… definitely part of it. and roman, please do not. he’s really not worth it. _

**_Extra Prince Enby:_ ** _ You are, though. I’m going to move to your city and I’m going to protect you from any ill that might befall you! _

**_Extra Emo Enby:_ ** _ i’m pretty sure that’s what the caoimhe’s going to do, once we get her _

**_Extra Prince Enby:_ ** _...Caoimhe? _

**_Extra Emo Enby:_ ** _ uh yeah i’m getting a service dog for my anxiety. _

**_Extra Prince Enby:_ ** _ Anxiety… is getting… a service dog…. For their anxiety? I love irony! _

**_Glasses Gay Young:_ ** _ Yes, that one is obvious enough that even your obtuse mind caught it. _

**_Extra Prince Enby:_ ** _ One must simply be vigilant in their pursuit of the recognition of irony! _

**_Glasses Gay Young:_ ** _ Why are you like this _

Virgil snickered. They definitely agreed with Logan’s sentiment, there.

**_Extra Emo Enby:_ ** _ on the topic of anxiety, big surprise, that’s not actually my name _

**_Glasses Gay Young:_ ** _ …Yes, we know that. Where are you going with this? _

They had already opened up quite a bit to these two. And, really, they had been planning on telling them their name for a while.

**_Extra Emo Enby:_ ** _ it’s virgil _

_ my name is _

_ god i’m bad at this _

**_Extra Prince Enby:_ ** _ But the theeeeme _

_ It doesn’t fit the theme _

**_Glasses Gay Young:_ ** _ You and your themes. Thank you for trusting us with this information, Virgil. I suppose the pseudonym A.V. Williams makes a little more sense, now. _

**_Extra Emo Enby:_ ** _ yeah. thanks for listening and being chill _

_ well _

_ mostly chill @Extra Prince Enby _

**_Extra Prince Enby:_ ** _ I feel so called out right now. _

Virgil leaned back and relaxed. They felt… lighter. Opening up to Roman and Logan had helped, a lot.

 

The post was drafted by the time Patton got home from work, a stack of homework to be graded in his arms. Virgil was still curled up on the couch, although their laptop was closed and charging on the coffee table.

They looked up and smiled as Patton walked in.

“Hey,” they said. “How were the munchkins?”

“They were great! Jami and Angela were holding hands today- they’re so adorable!” Patton set the papers down on the table while Virgil got up and walked over to him.

“I’m sure they are,” Virgil agreed. They embraced for a few moments, and when they drew apart, Patton’s expression was serious.

“I’m glad you opened up to Roman and Logan,” he said.

Virgil smiled and ducked their head. “Yeah. Well. Thanks.” They rubbed the back of their head. “I did get that post drafted, though. And some more of the next book, too.”

“Aw yeah!” Patton cheered. “That’s great!”

Virgil smiled at their enthusiastic best friend.

Things were looking up again.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed!  
> really, kestrel daniel, two fics in one day? what is this?  
> anyways, if you liked it, leave a kudos! and if you can, leave me a comment telling me what you thought! i love hearing what you have to say!  
> with love,  
> Kestrel


End file.
